We all have habits or addictions that we’d like to break. There are certain patterns in the way we act that we can observe rationally, and choose to alter – although this is often easier said, than done! I feel that one important part of this is to do more than engage in self-talk. Writing, journaling, or even writing up and posting a list of reasonable rules, can aid in overcoming behaviors that don’t serve to improve our lives (and in some cases, are terribly destructive).

Here are some suggestions, which may help you. You need to think about your situation and customize these, make them reasonable, and then write them down. These need to be handled in a consistent and specific way, rather than making them too broad. You will rationalize anything that is not specific. The rules should not be difficult, or you won’t follow them. We all suffer from not taking good advice, when we give it to ourselves, and this is rather silly, given that we know ourselves better than anyone else.

1. Reduce: Rather than trying to eliminate bad habits all at once, reduce how often or how long you engage in them. It may be too difficult to quit, Cold Turkey! Instead, if you must, allow it to happen once a day, instead of frequently, or specify a time limit. If you watch too much television, allow yourself to only watch 1 hour, instead of 4 hours. Or, perhaps you only allow TV between 8 and 10 o’clock. The less you engage in the bad behavior, the more likely you are to eliminate it altogether. Initially, you may see no way to eliminate the behavior, so you feel powerless. Making measurable changes, over time, can eventually turn an addiction into an optional or infrequent behavior, or eliminate it altogether.
2. Eliminate Artifacts: If there are outcomes of this behavior that encourage more bad behavior, or bad feelings, eliminate them. For example, if you binge on food; it may be helpful to make yourself use fewer dishes or clean all the dishes afterwards. Coming into the kitchen the next day and seeing a pile of dishes only serves to emphasize your problem, and make you feel worse about yourself.
3. Take a Time Out: If you feel an urge to engage in a bad behavior, get yourself used to always taking a 5 minute timeout. Lying down on your bed for 5 minutes of relaxation is a way to let logic overcome the rationalization that your action is acceptable. If nothing else, you may reduce the urge, or improve your mood.
4. Exchange: Swap an addictive urge for something you enjoy that is positive, or for something that you at least have control over. Remember, in each of these cases, you are not telling yourself you cannot engage in the bad behavior at all, you are just putting restrictions on it. In this case, you are choosing to do something else that gives you pleasure. Maybe you read a magazine, eat a sandwich or have a glass of juice. As long as you follow the rule, to do this first, you take power away from an addiction.
5. Make It Inconvenient: Let’s face it, when you have a bad habit or addiction that has been going on for a long time, you’ve gotten into a rut and you can’t see a way out. You have no control, or at least you don’t feel you have any. Find some small changes, to make it less convenient to perform the action. For example, if you want to eat less, and you find you usually eat while watching TV, make the commitment to just eat at the dining room table. You aren’t saying you must eat less, but, but changing where you eat, you make it less convenient to snack all night, while watching TV. In my case, I buy what I “should” eat, and you can see my cupboards are pretty bare. When I need a snack, I choose between fruit and veggies, and don’t have “high risk” foods to tempt me. I have to drive someplace to indulge myself.
6. Reward Success!! If you make progress, find some way to reward yourself, or at least acknowledge it. Don’t push too hard, and don’t feel disheartened if changes don’t happen overnight. Despite what you may have heard, you aren’t trying to replace bad behaviors with good ones. Don’t get suckered into believing that behaviors are really good or bad, even. Behaviors are just actions you take, and your goal is to gradually reduce the power that “habit” has over your lifestyle. You are strengthening your willpower, and making these actions less important or impactful to your life. This is important, because you want to get to where the habit is not preventing you from having a meaningful and enjoyable lifestyle.
7. Surround Yourself with Good People: As much as you might want, you can’t hide from the world, and you can’t solve every problem flying solo. Having people around who care about you and help when you need it, makes it much more likely you will succeed.

Clearly, if you have a habit that is destructive and out of your control, you should seek professional help. That said, I believe we have the ability to make positive changes to how we act and how we present ourselves. I don’t know if this is enough to break some of the habits I have, or if I will hold myself accountable and follow the rules that I set, but I’m making an effort, and that alone is a positive thing!

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